Change of Heart

So, I've been having a change of heart recently.

I love fashion, but I feel lost in the sea of fashion bloggers, like I'm not even on a boat. I don't have a life jacket, I'm desperately trying to cling on to my hopes and dreams.

I've evolved past fashion. Ok, no one does that, but I feel like I can blog about something else, and still enjoy and feel pleased with myself.

Which is a big statement, because I rarely am pleased with myself.

Instead of feeling guilty that I have nothing of the fashion variety to talk about, just because I'm out of the swing of things, I decided that I'm going to pursue one of my favorite hobbies: Cartooning.

So, basically everything is going to change around here, and it's going to be a big one.

I've always loved art, and even when I was younger, I made comic strips with this "family" I created. They were comprised of floating facial features (looking back, they were really creepy.) I used to make little comic strips of the family all the time, until for some reason, I just stopped. I wasn't interested in pursuing cartoons and comics anymore. I moved on to other things, until (about) freshman year of high school, when I took an actual art class (required for graduation). I really enjoyed art, and this class just proved that I was decent at creating it, too, and so, I created paintings and sketches and ink prints, etc.

I do enjoy painting (watercolor to be exact) and I do paint a lot. But recently I've been having trouble communicating my feelings and emotions and basically things that a five year old could (eg: I'm sad, I'm mad, I want, I feel..) I've drawn a few silly cartoons of myself and how I've been feeling that day, or just to vent or show something funny or silly. I genuinely enjoy doing it more than I enjoyed fashion blogging (especially because I've been having (probably) anxiety and (probably) depression issues, and cartoons don't feel like work.)

Fashion blogging felt like a hassle, and when I didn't follow through I felt guilty, which leads to self depreciation, which leads to more guilt and sadness. It's a vicious circle that is extremely difficult to escape.

Drawing these silly little comics is fun, and is something I look forward to, and praise myself for. I know think they're super cute depictions of myself/my animals/whatever.

So, heres to a new (and still more French) year, with comics!

xx